I am seriously frustrated by my school situation. First of all... If I want to get into the UNR RN-BSN program for Fall 2012, I have to have 4 classes completed by Spring, or Summer if I want to be 2nd priorty on the list... That's basically impossible right now.
So I have decided to take 2 classes next semester, then 1 in fall and 1 the follow spring. Okay, fine. But then I go online to UNR and they hardly offer any online courses. WTF?! They are making this impossible!! I can't actually go to class because my work schedule is always crazy and doesn't allow it. Therefore, online classes are the best for me. Well, gee, thanks UNR...You are really making it impossible for me to further my education right now. Maybe it's not meant to be....... ARG.
Anyway... I haven't been up to too much. I've been trying to workout on my days off of work and man, it is hard sometimes. I just get sooo tired! It's exhausting, and I feel so weak at the gym. One thing I have discovered that I really like is the sauna..ahhh :) It's really relaxing after working out. It's so hot but it feels good.
Just working and finishing up this semester's classes.
I can't wait for Mike, JaNae and Jacoby to get here!!! They will be here the 23rd I think. I am so excited to meet my little cutie nephew! FINALLY!!

Thanksgiving was really good this year. We all went to the Nugget buffet which was amazzzzzing! It was so delicious and you got a huge variety of food, not just same old thanksgiving food, which honestly I don't like that much. YUM! Then Kyle, Aimee, James and I headed to the movies to see Breaking Dawn Part 1....also amazing! I loved it. They all hated it but I really liked it. It was fun to be off of work and get to spend time with my entire family... I loved it.

PS.. Doing pretty well with my "turning tables" and working harder toward doing better with certain things in my life. I am okay with that right now. I have to keep trying and moving forward...

Turning Tables

Well.. I am ready for a new chapter in my life.
I am ready to be a better person, a better friend, a better daughter, a better wife, a better anything and everything... I really want to try hard to be a better person. And there a few things I have to change in order to do that. I don't need to write them down here, because I know what they are and I can work on them if I try. I will need help, but that's what I have Kyle and my family for.
I don't want to become a hole of a person, who is just here and not accomplishing anything or feeling good about myself or my life.
I am not happy right now. I am not happy with myself mainly, but I am also not happy with where my life is, the chapter I'm in and trying to crawl my way out of it. I have every reason to be happy... There is not a thing in my life that is bad but somehow I just can't seem to be happy with it. So I guess that points right to ME. I am what is making myself unhappy.
I need to learn to be happier, appreciate more, give more, and stop being so selfish.
I really really really want to have kids, and I can't be this way when I have kids. I need to be loving and unselfish and willing to give everything to them, as well as Kyle and my family.
It is really hard to be happy every single day... No one in this world is happy all the time. We are entitled to bad days and good days, and that's part of life.
For today... I am going to be thankful. I am going to give back a little bit. And work one day at a time on the things I need to change. It will take time, but the destination will be worth it.

Happiness is a mood...Not a destination!

If tonight is my last

Just a song that makes me happy lately... So true.

If an angel came down to me, asked what I would do differentlyI would say nothing, you see, I love someone truly
And if I do not see tomorrow, you know it's gonna be alright
'Cause I got my baby right by my side
And if the rain ain't falling and the sun ain't shiningIt makes no difference to me
I'm right where I wanna be
And if tonight is my last what I gotta do?
And if tonight is my last I wanna spend it with you
And if the sky fall's down it's gonna be alright
'Cause I got you here tonight
If I had to give all that I ownIn return for the love that's grownI would give it gladly 'cause nothing else compares
To the moments that we sharedAnd if the rain ain't falling and the sun ain't shiningIt makes no difference to me
I'm right where I wanna be
And if tonight is my last what I gotta do?
And if tonight is my last I wanna spend it with youAnd if the sky fall's down it's gonna be alright
'Cause I got you here tonight
Only given a short time on this earth
You gotta make each moment worth something beautiful
You gotta give every bit of you for the loveHalf just won't doAnd if tonight is my last what I gotta do?And if tonight is my last I wanna spend it with you
And if the sky fall's down it's gonna be alright
'Cause I got you here tonight
If tonight is my last what I gotta do?(It's gonna be alright, it's gonna be alright)
If tonight is my last I wanna spend it with you(It's gonna be alright, it's gonna be alright)
And if the sky fall's down it's gonna be alright(It's gonna be alright, it's gonna be alright)
Because I got you here tonight, here tonight(It's gonna be alright, it's gonna be alright)
It's gonna be alright
If an angel came down to me, asked what I would do differently
I would say nothing, you see, I love someone truly

Why?

Why do I do this to myself? I wake up almost every single morning wondering my Why questions fo the day. I wake up almost every morning feeling like crap.. literally my body hates me, I don't understand half of the things in my life or what's going on or why I do half of the things I do.. to myself and others.
Some days just really don't make sense to me. My head is constantly in a fog that it won't come out of. I have to force myself to be motivated, even though I honestly couldn't care less about a LOT of things. I try to be motivated, but most of the time it doesn't work. I go to work, get my work done, most of the time not caring very much, come home, go to sleep and repeat. I'm in 2 classes that don't matter and really, who gives a crap about history classes? Not me, I don't learn anything from them. I try to remind myself that it's getting me toward my ultimate goal...getting a BSN. But again, why am I doing that? I don't seem to care, or can't find the energy to care about even doing that, even though I KNOW it will better my life.
I just don't care right now... And I can't seem to shake the feeling off. I WANT to care and be motivated, but it's not working.
In the end...It doesn't even matter.






/end depressing post.

In a nut shell

Well.. I haven't blogged since March, big suprise I know. Here is what we have been up to in a quick, photo nut shell..... I graduated!! Wooohooooo!! I am a RN now :)

I got a job at Renown!! I work on Medical/Telemetry.. It's so challenging every single day, but it's very rewarding and I've learned so much already

We have a nephew!!!! We have yet to meet this little guy but we will get to meet him at Christmas, which I can't wait for! Jacoby joined out family on July 27th! He is so darn cute, I can't wait to hold him.
Kyle and I took a trip to San Fransicso, which we loved! We met my cousin Danny and his wife Talisha there for some fun and a Radiers football game.. We had a blast!!

Maybe now that I have all of those major events "documented" I'll try a little harder to keep up with my blog. Right now, I am just working my behind off and taking 2 classes working towards my BSN. Hopefully I can get in the UNR program and be done with my prereqs by next Fall but we will see.
Yep, my life is just so exciting!! Haha :)