First day in Pediatrics

Well, today marked my first day in my clinical rotation of the semester, as well as my first clinical rotation of Pediatrics. It was hard, frightening, overwhelming, fun, and exhausting.
I don't really know what I was expecting in Peds besides being completely terrified of making children cry! I slept horrible the night before, waking myself up and thinking I had missed my alarm. I kept dreaming that I was making my 2 year old pt. cry! It was weird.. I woke myself up at 3:30am and had set my alarm for 4:45, but couldn't fall back asleep. So I just tossed and turned until my alarm went off. Then I showered and prepared for my rotation to from 6:15am-6:00pm (my first 12 hour shift!)
I had picked out a patient the day before for prep that is 2 years old with Asthma/Respiratory Airway Disease/Acute Bronchospasms. My patient was extremely irritable, crying, fussy, restless and agitated pretty much all day. She talked to me a few times and smiled only a handful of times. She liked playing with my stethoscope and pretending to use as I do. I could definitely tell she was not feeling well.... exactly what my "nightmares" were - a crying child all day long!! I felt helpless and sad for her, but I think part of her crying was not feeling well + manipulation to get what she wanted - cookies, pudding, crackers, juice, etc. Who feeds their children that diet?! I encouraged water and fluids throughout the day, but ultimately the mother feeds her child when the child cries and doesn't want anything but cookies.
I also got to witness a fellow classmates pt. who was 9 months old with fetal alcohol syndrome and failure to thrive. That was definitely heart breaking!! He couldn't sit up or hold his own head up - when a normal 9 month old would be sitting, crawling maybe, interacting, playing, etc. This infant didn't interact and barely responded to stimuli. He wanted to be held constantly and cried when anyone put him down. He didn't respond much to toys, snapping your fingers, his name, or really anything. Very sad for him.... :( It made me want to cry. But hopefully he will continue to improve and grown and develop.
Wow.. Peds was a totally different experience than what I am used to, taking care of adults. It was fun in a way - I got to give my first IV push medications - but at the same time, exhausting and long. I didn't want my pt. to cry but she just wasn't feeling up to anything. I guess it was just "one of those days" and that's what you get. I did learn A LOT and I thought my instructor Jami-Sue Coleman was awesome! She was so supportive, nice and didn't stand over my shoulder every 2 seconds... It really made me feel like maybe I can do this......Maybe!
Who knows... Maybe Peds will be my place, Maybe not. I haven't decided whether or not I like Peds yet but maybe in the next 2 short weeks I will take a better liking to it. :)